Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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