what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
