her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
