Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize