from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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