I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
