No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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