you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
