He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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