come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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