my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize