So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
