ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize