I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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