Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
