i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
