If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
