I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
