Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
