I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize