were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
