come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
