What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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