Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
