Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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