doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
