Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
