I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
