Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
