Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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