O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
