She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
