I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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