Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
