I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
