When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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