the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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