Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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