Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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