But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize