My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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