You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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