the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
