I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
