i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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