five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
