Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
