YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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