I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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