you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
