Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
