Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
