By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
