Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize