are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
