I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
