halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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