he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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