Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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