Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
