Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
