the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
