What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
