Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
