My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
