It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
