I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
