Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I looked at my own cervix.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
