i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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