dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
