I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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