Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
