Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize