If i come over, it means nothing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize