ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
