Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
