He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
