you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize