I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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