you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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